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Wednesday, December 28, 2005 

Breaking News: Woogiforkus discovered!

Some of the virtues of Woogiforkus as told to me by quasi reliable tribesmen from some island that may or may not be real:

Woogiforkus knows more than you do.
Woogiforkus had more sex than you did in high school.
Woogiforkus is taller than everyone.
Woogiforkus watches you always; even in the bathroom.
Woogiforkus has seen every movie ever made.
Woogiforkus would sweep the leg too.
Woogiforkus is shorter than everyone.
Woogiforkus thrives off sacrifice.
Woogiforkus can jump over Mt. Everest in a single bound.
Woogiforkus is better than you at Halo 2.
Woogiforkus shot Tupac.

How could such a thing exist? Scientists all over the world are scrambling to find answers. It looks like we're just going to have to change our way of life in order to cope with the awesomeness of Woogiforkus.

More to come.

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