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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 

I've made a list and checked it twice

Lists are fun. Oh, so much fun! Today's list consists of Inconsistencies in Christianity and the Bible! Yaaaaaay!

  • Pagan trees: Your Christmas tree has Pagan origins! When Germany was being converted to Christianity, in place of it's beloved Paganism, Christians pulled a fast one. They conveniently included the cutting down of a tree from the forest into their Christmas celebration. The Germanic peoples, knowing no better because they cut down trees all the time to worship their forest god, said "Awesome, you got trees too? And a book? No freaking way!" Here's where it really gets funny though: "Learn not the way of the heathen. (other Pagan nations) They cut a tree out of the forest. They adorn it with silver and gold." -The Book of Jeremiah 10:2 to 4
  • Sinning is rewarded: "Now we know that God heareth not sinners..." - John 9:31 Yet, God apparently will listen to Satan and test Job's faith in order to make Satan look stupid? So, he kills off everyone that Job holds near and dear. He also apparently talked to Cain in Genesis 4:14 to 15. The same Cain who killed his brother Abel. Both of whom are sons of Adam. Riiiight, and god isn't listening to sinners when they talk to him?
  • I confused: I'm gonna let this one speak for itself. Luke 9:50 Jesus said "for whoever is not against you is for you." Luke 11:23 "He who is not with me is against me." And finally. Mark 9:40 "for whoever is not against us is for us."
  • It's raining lies: As scripture would have you believe, a great flood washed over this entire planet about 6,000 years ago. It wiped out everything, save Noah, his family/friends, and a whole lotta animals. It's funny that the Mayan and Chinese civilizations of the time show no such thing happening in their records. There is, however, recorded interpretations by other ancient civilizations of a flood taking place anywhere between 35,000 to 250,000 years ago. Unsubstantiated, of course.
  • The air is choking me with lies: According to the bible, god is everywhere and everything. So by going to heaven, one will be next to god in his domain. Now uh, if god is already everything and everywhere, wouldn't that sorta make the whole journey to heaven thing moot? We're supposed to live our lives in some ideal manner in order to gain entry to heaven, yet by definition, we're already there. Sweet!
  • Jesus and God need not apply, for heaven is right this way: Matthew 19:16 - "And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master [Jesus], what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" 19:17 - "And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? [there is] none good but one, [that is], God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments." 19:18 - "He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness," 19:19 - "Honour thy father and [thy] mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." No tenets of worshipping Jesus or a God mentioned when Jesus addressed this person. Straight from the horses' mouth there.
Alright, some fun has been had at a defenseless religion's expense. But who cares? That's what it's followers get for continually floating their nonsensical interpretations around me for the last 30 years.

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